ACT

An odd mix of progressive policies and anti-immigration dogwhistling. Progressive parties are like cake recipes - if you want them to rise you have to add ingredients that make sense. A bunch of leftish flavour on evidence-based decision making, environment, housing, but unfortunately they've thrown in a big cup of fairly rancid immigration policies. Had to get rid of their Tasmanian candidate for being a transphobe, because they only have room for one kind of prejudice thank you very much.

Since arriving in federal politics three years ago, former Wallaby David Pocock has found the Senate even more unfriendly than Eden Park on a cold June evening. One of the more successful independents, he doesn't even need Climate 200's money any more. Right wing lobby group Advance Australia often runs banners showing him wearing a photoshopped on Greens t-shirt, which in Canberra probably causes his vote to go up, if anything.

The only party to mandate that all candidates must be vegan, after a massive controversy in which a former AJP MP was seen eating fish once in a Sydney sushi restaurant. They're campaigning for animal welfare, afforable housing, animal welfare, fairer taxation, and animal welfare. They're even proposing the introduction of Veticare, which is like Medicare, but for pets and wildlife. Luckily our marsupials have pockets so they can carry their Veticare card.

It's Labor. You know, the ones currently in power. Love talking about Medicare. Represent the interests of workers and their trade unions, except the CFMEU union which can just stand in the corner and think about what it did for a while.

You know who these guys are. The Liberal Party was founded to oppose the labour movement and socialism, and to champion the ideas of liberalism such as relying on individual freedoms to make a better society for everyone. These days they typically promote harsher jail sentencing for youth offenders and making trips across the country to appear at billionaire iron ore magnate birthday parties. Much irony.

HEART are anti-vaccination, anti-flouride, pro-conspiracy whackadoodles. The Libertarians are small government, anti-regulation, anti-LGBTI, pro-gun whackadoodles that want to sell off the ABC and abolish the Department of Education. If you want low taxes, massive deregulation, and low vaccination rates, move to the United States. If you can't afford that you could always vote for these guys.

Either the smallest major party or the largest minor party, depending on your viewpoint. During the last term of parliament they've fought for renters, refugees, and endangered stingrays*. How much have they achieved? Good question, but either way they're definitely not getting paid for it, as none of those groups have disposable income and/or pockets.
*Technically it's a skate, not a ray, and if you knew that already you're probably a greens voter.