VIC

You know who these guys are. The Liberal Party was founded to oppose the labour movement and socialism, and to champion the ideas of liberalism such as relying on individual freedoms to make a better society for everyone. These days they typically promote harsher jail sentencing for youth offenders and making trips across the country to appear at billionaire iron ore magnate birthday parties. Much irony.

Single issue party that does what it says on the tin. Jeremy Buckingham, their NSW MP, was kicked out of the Greens for sexual harassment and joined after stumbling on the party while "googling how to grow really massive dope plants" (yes that is an actual quote).

The only party to mandate that all candidates must be vegan, after a massive controversy in which a former AJP MP was seen eating fish once in a Sydney sushi restaurant. They're campaigning for animal welfare, afforable housing, animal welfare, fairer taxation, and animal welfare. They're even proposing the introduction of Veticare, which is like Medicare, but for pets and wildlife. Luckily our marsupials have pockets so they can carry their Veticare card.

Instead of a Voice to Parliament, how about a Voice in Parliament? One that comes with actual power? Arguably it's a lot easier to achieve, and makes it more likely that Aboriginal issues are prioritised in a way which doesn't involve half the country explicitly voting against them.

Fatima Payman's new party, has a mix of vaguely left populist policies. Completely unrelated to the Voice referendum but happy to co-opt the name. Party members enjoy a conscience vote on every policy so what they'll actually vote for is anyone's guess.

Accidentally put its entire campaign platform in the "name of party" box when it registered with the AEC. A voltron-like combination of the Secular, Pirate, Science, Climate Change Justice and Vote Planet parties, it has a grab bag of centre-left and left-libertarian policies.

The Socialist Equality Party - for when fighting against racism, sexism and homophobia is all a bit too lah-de-dah for you, the SEP offers that ol' timey distilled working-class struggle flavoured socialism. An unregistered party, so they are on a group ticket. Perhaps getting the party registered with the AEC is more of a middle-class thing.

General far-right populist sludge with racism included. The 'Trump' in the name isn't an accident - policies are copy-pasted from the US, including a 'Department of Govt Efficiency'. The only positive thing that you can say about them is that Clive Palmer might solve the legacy Australian media's budget crisis through sheer weight of unrestricted campaign ad spending. This time, when his own party coudn't get registered, he joined and took over another micro party.

It's Labor. You know, the ones currently in power. Love talking about Medicare. Represent the interests of workers and their trade unions, except the CFMEU union which can just stand in the corner and think about what it did for a while.

Not huge fans of the separation of Church and State. Huge fans of religious freedom, in the context of using religion to freely complain about abortions and drag queens.

Still a bunch of racists, but now more broadly right-wing populist. Deny climate change, anti-LGBT, anti-abortion, anti-immigration, etc etc. In a major twist, Pauline Hanson's daughter is running in Tasmania - where you're considered to be an immigrant if you weren't born there.

After a series of existential crises, what's left of the Democrats now style themselves as a broadly progressive party, with policies on promoting women's leadership, reducing ocean plastic, and evidence-based governance. They held a bunch of senate seats between 1977 and 2007, at which point they lost them all in a game of cards by supporting John Howard. Since then they've tried to make several comebacks, much the same way someone might pull the starter cord of a motor out of fuel. Will they sputter to life this time? *shakes magic 8 ball* Don't count on it.

The working class Victorian Socialists are running a social media guy with a curled moustache called "purplepingers". purplepingers rose to prominence in 2024 when he encouraged people to squat in vacant apartments as part of a pro-renter campaign. We're pretty sure it's the most Melbourne thing to have ever happened. If you ever find yourself saying "the Victorian Greens are just another capitalist party", these guys could be for you.

An odd mix of progressive policies and anti-immigration dogwhistling. Progressive parties are like cake recipes - if you want them to rise you have to add ingredients that make sense. A bunch of leftish flavour on evidence-based decision making, environment, housing, but unfortunately they've thrown in a big cup of fairly rancid immigration policies. Had to get rid of their Tasmanian candidate for being a transphobe, because they only have room for one kind of prejudice thank you very much.

HEART are anti-vaccination, anti-flouride, pro-conspiracy whackadoodles. Gerrard Rennick "resigned" from the liberals in 2024 over his controversial views on vaccines, Russia and climate change denial. It's really saying something when you're considered too extreme on these things for the QLD LNP. By their powers comined, they're Captain Toxic Populism.

Libertarianism is supposed to be about having a small government with the individual having more control over their personal lives. So their policy of selling off the ABC and SBS, privatising schools, and relaxing gun laws makes perfect sense. Their opposition to people transitioning to a different gender on the other hand makes them look like conservative hypocrites who just want to pay less tax. Renamed themselves from the Liberal Democrats to align themselves better with their new stronger antivax positions.

Either the smallest major party or the largest minor party, depending on your viewpoint. During the last term of parliament they've fought for renters, refugees, and endangered stingrays*. How much have they achieved? Good question, but either way they're definitely not getting paid for it, as none of those groups have disposable income and/or pockets.
*Technically it's a skate, not a ray, and if you knew that already you're probably a greens voter.

A venerable crackpot party that's been saying odd things since 1988, though they seem far less conspiracy-minded than they used to be. Imagine someone wearing a tinfoit hat in a suit talking about the Glass-Steagall Act. They want to abolish oligarchical things like the big 4 banks, AUKUS, the monarchy, ColesWorth and private energy companies. Keen on turning Australia Post into a people's bank. Climate change conspiracy theorists. Want a royal comission into the COVID-19 response. Have a strong policy focus on, of all things, banking reform.

Somehow parked somewhere between liberatarian and progressive, like that one racist uncle at Christmas who suddenly starts passionately defending gay rights. They believe everyone in rural areas should have the same access to socialised medicine and education as the city slickers, but heaven forbid the government tell you what to do. They are also climate change deniers, despite the fact that a climate is rather important to having animals to shoot at.

An active member of the ALP, Raj Saini is striking out on his own for some reason. Has a variety of vaguely leftish policies on public transport, bulk billing for mental health, better funding for education, and so on. The entire group seems to have sprung into existence in April.